It appears, sadly, that the incident a few weeks ago is part of a larger problem with LB’s behavior that has been on & off this past year, escalating in the last few weeks.  In other words, it was a verbal form of other bad choices he is making in other contexts.  So, we will be dealing with that going forward with some expert assistance.   While I am still not happy, putting his verbal nastiness into the context of other behavior that is equally anti-social gives me some hope that it can be addressed with other larger socialization stuff while I, in the background, also try to emphasize positive non-judgmental, respectful ways of viewing the people around him.

Wish us luck.  I tell ya, I never really knew what heartsick meant until I had kids.