In recently reading a series of intensely personal posts on another blog (which I won’t link to b/c they are password protected) it occurred to me what courage and strength it takes to write, in detail, about an active personal problem: a problem one hasn’t yet found the solution for. I’m not talking about the 3 sentence ‘can you believe what happened to me today’ post, but the in-depth, holy frijoles, this is what I’m going through and I don’t know how to get out of this spot type of piece.
Is it because we are conditioned by op-eds and feature articles that not only complain, but provide solutions (at least the better ones do)? Perhaps. I think also we don’t want to admit when we feel like a failure, which is what the most complex problems, particularly those we have little control to fix, create in us. And we don’t want to whine. Well, maybe a little. But we’re generally only going to whine in an amusingly snarky fashion that distances ourself from the problem and its causes.
For instance, BB has a quasi-medical thing that has some pretty embarrassing side effects. It’s fixable, but its taking a LONG LONG time to fix. A week ago, there was a Positive Event that had BB, mr. jolt & I celebrating. I was so hopeful that progress would move forward from there, but like many things that are medical/behavioral, it’s not that easy. Yet that night, I imagined forward about the self-congratulatory blog post I would write, full of advice for parents dealing with the same issue and how we ‘overcame’ it.* But I can’t write that post yet. (not sure I ever will given privacy issues). But I thought it was illuminating that something I’d never considered writing about (and until recently basically didn’t talk about) suddenly became a ‘writable’ subject once I thought success was within our grasp.
I dunno. Maybe its just me and my own inability to get out of my own way when trying to write.
*I now, of course, blame myself for ‘jinxing’ further progress for even thinking we were done.
July 11, 2009 at 10:10 pm
Is it the problem that BB and SG sort of share?
I find that putting it out there helps me feel better. It may not make me look like a good mother, hell it may even make me look like a bad person, but saying, “This is what’s going on and it sucks and I feel really incompetent,” is kind of cathartic. In doing that- being honest for the whole world to see- I’ve found that I’ve become less judgmental where other parents are concerned. Sort of. There are still the people that I look at and think, “Why on earth would anyone let you breed?”
That said, there are some things I don’t share. I don’t know why, just don’t.
Was this a pointless comment or what?
July 17, 2009 at 11:02 am
No, very helpful, actually. I always like knowing other people’s thought processes on this stuff.
July 17, 2009 at 11:04 am
And yes, it is the problem that BB & SG “share”.