So today as I walked from the evil parking garage to my office and around my office, I frequently heard a small, but noticable squeak arising from my left shoe.  Anyway, it ranged from a pip of a squeak to a multi-decibel meow like sound.  Quite disconcerting and rather embarrassing as I shuffled past various persons and colleagues trying to find some way of walking without being ridiculously noisy.

So, this squeaky shoe got me thinking of that old hackneyed phrase “the squeaky wheel gets the grease.”  And it’s true.  In my job anyway, we pay a lot of attention to those of our constituencies who either (a) logically, calmly and politely ask for expedited assistance due to events beyond their control that require immediate answers; or (b) rudely, and after they have sent you incomplete or inaccurate information, demand immediate satisfaction despite the lack of complete, accurate information because the matter is already behind schedule because someone, somewhere was twiddling their thumbs for many months before elevating the issue to where it could be acted upon.

Anyway, back to my metaphor.  The squeaky wheel gets the grease is a lousy vision as a metaphor for inspiring change through feminism because it immediately draws to mind the whiner, etc.  And indeed, the grease serves only one purpose: shutting up the squeak.  In fact, I would go so far as to suggest that those manly doods* that comment on blogs in the femisphere** are trying to apply the squeaky wheel theory, thinking that their greasy misogyny and attempts to undercut our arguments with compassionate trollism will make us stop “squeaking” and complaining. 

But, manly doods, take note.  Feminists are not wheels and we will not be greased with your alternating efforts to placate us or spread hate.  We will not shut up.

Rather, we are the squeaky shoe.  Yes, we will keep squeaking as you attempt to step on us with your male privilege.  We will keep squeaking until you are forced to alter not only your patriarchal strut in a vain attempt to avoid the squeaky bit of the shoe, but until the patriarchy in which you reside as you attempt to keep us squashed is forced, hobbling, to collapse and remove us, the squeaky shoe from the bottom of its fetid stinking feet so that we too may breathe the fresh air of possibility, equality and liberty the like of which we have never known.***

*manly doods would be the evils that comment, with a singular lack of open-mindedness or understanding on many feminist blogs.  I’m not talking about men who get it.  I’m talking about those that manifestly don’t.

**Femisphere sounds like some sort of personal hygiene product, but I like it as shorthand for the feminist blogosphere.

***When I grab hold of a fun metaphor I do so love to meander with it.