jolt: So, do you want ham or lamb for Easter dinner?

jolt’s mom: Well, G would like ham.

jolt: But what do you want?

jm: I prefer ham, but . . .

My mom and her husband G* are coming this weekend.  For the most part my mom and I get along and G is fine – he seems like a nice enough guy (I’ve met him maybe 3 times).

The problem is that when my mom comes to visit, I want her to visit with my boys, and with me.  She enjoys visiting with me, but often seems lukewarm with the boys.  I’m an only child and I was a lot less rambunctious child than my two.

And with G coming, she has been really anxious, as if the question of him having a good time is the most important issue of the weekend, as opposed to visiting with her grandkids.  Frankly, I want them both to have a good time, but I’m not going to do stuff entirely focused on them the whole weekend (we are doing a dinner out, just the 4 adults on Friday) because the kids (and I as a result) would be miserable.

So, anyway, G’s visit is bringing issues that I have with my mom with respect to her relationship with my kids to the forefront.  In essence, she is not that good with kids, particularly little kids.   She is committed to routine, and, even though this is a 3 day visit (she hasn’t seen them since October-we live on opposite sides of the country) will spend several hours on Sunday reading the paper, because that’s what she does at home. 

Uh, mom, you’re only here for a little over 72 hours – don’t you want to spend time with us and getting to re-know your grandkids?  Maybe I’ll hide the newspaper.  Anyway, I hope it will be a fun weekend despite my pessimism about how G and the kids will do (he had no kids of his own and is just a tad clueless).  I just don’t like my kids being regarded as noisy nuisances by my own relatives.  Sometimes, my mom projects this aura of irritation with them and it really bugs me.

My solution to the food conundrum: I got a little bit of both.  mr. jolt really likes lamb, but BB and I prefer ham. LB, of course, will refuse to eat either.

*My mom married G about 2 years ago.  Given I was already in my mid-30s, he will always be my mom’s husband, not a stepdad.  My stepdad is the man who married my mom when I was 9 and helped raise me.  He died two weeks shy of their 20th anniversary.

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