So, I have been doing this blog thing for about a month, or so.  And on those days when I feel like I should post because it has been THREE days (at least) since my last, but I nonetheless do not feel  like blogging, I think to myself, -why?  It’s not like I had spare time before I started blogging.  I mean, I took one evening a week to attempt to write a novel that I now use to write blog posts, but really, how many blog posts can one write in one night?

(not that I only write posts on said night, I do write at other times.  Mostly, I write blog posts on my Official Night To Write that I save to do that final tweak or two.  Then a day or so later I read them again to edit and post and voila (where are those pesky html tags for foreign accents?) I discover that the previously lengthy blog post has either (1) shown itself to be complete and utter narcississtic crapola (this post being exhibit A); or (2) some far more sophisticated blogger than I has not only more completely covered the topic, but done so with far greater verve, wit, and elan (dammit, where are those stupid html accents? or is it some funky keyboard thing I can do on my pc?) or (3) is so personal that I cringe, and it lingers indefinitely in my list of drafts.

Yet, I persevere.  I will write patiently until the purpose of this blog (besides educating informing describing the cheese that all should come to know & love I personally enjoy) has made itself clear to me.  On the plus side, I have had numerous very short conversations in the comments with various persons who blog- woot!  And I have found that my 10:1 ratio of drafting to hitting publish on a comment to pithy post written elsewhere has probably gone up to about 4:1.  So, I am improving!

I have this bizarre fear of posting on things that I feel I do not have full expertise (not that it stops me from expounding on cheese, but really, it’s cheese).  From whence does this fear arise?  General lack of self-esteem?  An early job in which I which I was surrounded by people that seemed so expert and knowledgable and clever that I just sort of assumed I would never measure up and have never fully recovered from?  A mother who while exuberant in praise that was wholly undeserved (no really) was deep in her disappointment about others thus giving me false confidence in areas that no person in the “real world” would ever care about and no confidence in those things that mattered?  (Let’s face it, you can always blame mom.  I am so not looking forward to hearing my list of sins when my boys are grown).

Whatever.  Enough with the navel-gazing.

p.s.  This blog is not only exhibit A in crapola, it is Exhibit A in why one should not attempt to blog after being talked into attending happy hour by one’s boss.  Never attend happy hour on your writing night!  Do not let thoughts of office conviviality interfere with the desire, no need, to expound on the many wondrous/terrible things available to expound upon.

 p.p.s. Please do not report me to the blog police for BUI (no, not boating while drunk, you know what I mean – and yes, that BUI of the water variety is on the book in several jurisdictions). 

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