Well, I tried to comment in response to this post by Lauren at offsprung, but it won’t take the password I thought I had, and keeps erroring me out. So here it is:
When my mom remarried when I was a kid, she didn’t want to take my stepdad’s name b/c it would have given her the same name as a major criminal in the news at the time. She didn’t want to keep my dad’s name, either. So she went with her maiden name and we had three names on our mailbox – it sounded like a law firm – any surprise I ended up a lawyer? Anyway, as a result, I never considered taking mr. jolt’s name, although I did suggest some version of our names smooshed together (he wouldn’t do it) so we each have our names & the kids are hyphenated.
Our theory: by the time they might be settling down with someone who might also be hyphenated they’ll hopefully have some solution to this whole conundrum.
November 23, 2007 at 8:07 am
I changed my name and on our wedding night began to weep because I was no longer the same person I had been for 21 years. At the time the name change was practical; I worried that when we had kids there would be confusing for us, them, school, friends, etc. if I had one name and their dad had another. I wish now, though, that I would’ve at least hyphenated it. I work with a woman who is known to friends, family as Jane Maiden Married. At work she’s Jane Maiden and at her kids’ school she’s Jane Married. It sounds like a lot but it really works well and seems (to me at least) like a happy medium.
November 27, 2007 at 8:49 am
I think a lot of people change their name for the same reason-to be identified as a family. I also know a lot of people (esp in the BigCity) who did what your friend Jane Maiden Married did.
It’s a complicated issue that, simply because of my family history, was made easier for me. Also, we could hyphenate the kids’ names because both mr. jolt’s and my last names are pretty short. We have some friends who wanted to hyphenate, but it would have been absurd. Their kids would have been 15 before they would have learned how to spell their own names.
Did you give either of the kids your original last name as a middle name?
November 27, 2007 at 12:03 pm
No. It’s not a last name that really lends itself to being a middle name. However, SG’s middle name is a hybrid of my mother’s middle name and my MIL’s maiden name. JP’s first name is after my grandmother’s maiden name and his middle name is my dad’s first name.